Recently I was watching a video on youtube called “Biology for Creationists” by a guy who goes by the name of “TheBarkingAtheist” in which he rants about how ridiculous it is that 13% of biology teachers in America do not believe in Evolution. The video got me thinking about Evolution, and though his video doesn’t actually address this topic, it got me thinking about the Origin of Life. I Posted the following comment on his video:
“@TheBarkingAtheist What I don’t get is, if the theory of evolution is true, where did the original life come from? If all life evolved from former species, all those species would eventually go back to a singular species or organism at some point right? How do we explain the origin of the original form of life out of nothing? It had to come from somewhere, & all I see is a Big Bang, & then somehow life miraculously forms on the Planet Earth & nowhere else we can see. Please help me understand.”
I was reading the book of Titus today, and it brought up some interesting questions about obedience. It says that we are to be subject to rulers and authorities to do whatever is good, and to be obedient (Titus 3:1). The problem is, none of us seems to do that with perfection, and it doesn’t bother most of us when we break certain laws.
Feelings of inadequacy, enfolding my faith in a blanket of doubt. I don’t feel like I am meant for here. I come crawling to my king crying for a caring caress, craving that calm cool collected emotional state I started with. I feel as though I am a failure, not worthy to pursue the potentials of this place. I sit staring at the screen, the words that should be forming behind my face failing to flow forth from my mind to my hands onto this page. Blank white stares back as deadlines dash towards me, dealing out deathly destruction to my already destroyed sense of belonging. I quench the Spirit which indwells me with harsh words spoken towards myself, denying myself any sense of comfort. “I can’t do this!” I cry, as tears roll down my face. I hate myself, which only fuels the feelings of defeat. I want to go back to when it was simple. Life was about getting high, having fun and feeding my face with all the hedonistic pleasures of pagan practitioners. You came, you rescued me, yet here I sit, feeling stranded, strained and stressed. Why am I even here? Why did I sign up for this? the feelings of security, feelings of knowing your plan for me faded like a good dream drifting away as I arise to face my dreary day. I can’t stand this feeling, yet onward I press. O LORD, set me free from feelings of failure. Show me how much you care, that I may be invigorated once again. Show me just enough of your plan that I can take that next step of faith, walking this weary way once more. Bring into my life strong believers who may fuel my faith, encourage me, rebuke me when I am wrong, and bless me in times of trial. O LORD, help me see, help me be me, that I may serve you with all my heart, head and hands, serving you with the whole me. I love you LORD, and even though I doubt, even though I despair, you are still with me, you are still my King. Strengthen me to be all that you created me to be.
Procrastination is a problem I struggle with, particularly when it comes to schoolwork. I hate that I do it, yet I always seem to be doing homework at the last-minute/the night before it is due. Things always seem to come up that I can do instead, or need to do instead, and I find myself saying that I still have time to work on such and such, and again, I am staying up until 5 a.m. (with the class at 8a.m.) finishing my Metaphysics homework and reading, and there goes another messed up sleep schedule Wednesday.
Another aspect of procrastination I seem to struggle with is that I can’t seem to be very productive when it comes to research/writing a paper if it is still a ways off. I lollygag, and I get distracted and a few hours have gone by and I have done hardly any substantive research. I do not know why this is, and why when it is due in a few days or the next day, I can fly through these things. Maybe it is the pressure that gets me focused and driven, but this is very stressful, and again, causes sleepless nights.
I need to figure out a way to stay motivated on research and breaking up the writing of a paper so I can get it done ahead of time. One thing suggested to me is to schedule it out. That is, I put on a schedule when things are due, and when I plan to do them, but I am not much of a calendar user. Maybe I just need to become one, and use the due/do date thing. I don’t know if that will help, but I do know that I am sick and tired of procrastination, and yet can’t seem to simply make myself stop.
How do you deal with procrastination? How do you get motivated to research and write when a paper is weeks or months away?